The Homework Dilemma

On our way back from Winter Park last night we caught the tail of a tremendous traffic jam. The kids were tired and hungry from a day of skiing and ate through our supply of snacks in a hurry. Daniel and Aden turned to their books and iPods contentedly enough, but William was stuck doing makeup homework from the two days he missed last week. Between coughing fits and complaints, he required an hour to do about three worksheets. When I took some of his papers to help explain what was needed, I realized that he has about five more hours of work to do on a book report that comes due this Friday. As you might guess, he had barely begun.

Despite my intentions to stay calm and never add more stress to this already-stressed small person, I felt the ire rising. Had he even read this page of requirements? Did he not wonder when the quotes, essays, scene descriptions and artwork would get done? In combination with this project and his regular daily work, he has a science fair project and a time capsule project due in the next six weeks. Did I mention that William is only 10, and in the fifth grade?As I confessed to Rob later last night (so much of my pillow talk seems to be confessional), part of me just wanted to say, "screw it." Just don't turn it in - the screaming, tears, self-hatred (William's) and disgust (mine), are absolutely not worth it. But how, exactly, would that benefit my child?

So we struck a happy medium; we both took hot showers and got tea (which he promptly spilled over the keyboard) and made a plan for the week. Using all of his available time before and after school this week, he should get all of the work done. I was as calm and rational as I could be, complimenting him on all of the work he had completed, and his usually good study habits. I told him to ask me for help anytime the work gets overwhelming (which is often). The teachers tell us to 'let them fail' but I can't do that. I won't do the work for him and I won't ask teachers to make exceptions, but these kids need our help. Adulthood is stressful enough, I just hate to see my kids stressed out and negative about their lives. I often don't know which way to go, and can only conclude that with homework as with anything, parenting is the hardest job in the world.