Just staggered through the back door with my gym bag and water bottles to be welcomed by a full load of laundry in the dryer and the evil green light on the dishwasher that says, "you need to unload me, too." At 7:30 am it seemed like a great to get the day rolling by throwing all dirty clothes and dishes into the wash, but returning sweaty and tired with my arms full I feel stupid for forgetting that I am the one who also has to take them out. But I am nothing if not determined . . . so I sat down to write this blog instead.
My friend Judy told me that she has been experimenting with something she read - that everyone has one word that defines them. She's not sure if you are supposed to pick your own word or have someone pick for you, but she shared that mine would be "determined." Yes, that's true. Now I see the that word as replete with pitfalls and potential landmines where before I would have figured it was entirely positive. Can you be so determined that you exercise past your limits and wreck your health? Can you be so determined that you have to crawl before people realize you need help? Yes, and yes.
So how do I transform this word of mine? I can't really change it, and don't even want to, because determination has brought me a lot of gifts. But I do need to amend my definition and use of this trait. Can I transition into being determined to be kind to myself? Determined to be emotionally present and vulnerable with my children? Determined to . . . let go? (Don't hold your breath).
What's your word and how do you feel about it? If there is a challenge within your gift, how can you adapt and use it for the most good?
What a great question! My immediate gut reaction was that my word is "engaged." Maybe a more appropriate one will come to mind later. But I spend my days searching for deep connections an ways to interact with my passions. I want to hear all the ways people work around the confusions and corners of their lives, and am interested in learning about so many tangential things. So engaged is what comes to mind.
ReplyDeleteThe time when this is most damaging is when I don't have the right community or projects to hold my attention. When I feel like I'm grasping for purpose. And the division between bored and overstressed can be tipped by the smallest change, to the detriment of my emotional health.
Thank you for this framework, Laura! I hope those dishes got out of the way of the many other projects deserving of the full and powerful force of your determination.
I love your word, engaged, Katie, and you describe the difficulties inherent in being engaged. Make sure to rest in your own quiet places and look within from time to time, to have enough energy to go "without." Thank you as always for your wonderful comment and contribution here!
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