Hug It Out

Here's an anecdote from teacher and author Tara Brach:

"About twenty years ago, a close friend and I drove to southern Virginia to attend a retreat led by Vietnamese Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. At the closing ceremony, he asked us to choose a partner - I turned to face my friend - and bow to each other. He then instructed us to hug our partner while taking three conscious and full in-breaths and out-breaths. With the first breath, he said to reflect, 'I'm going to die'; with the second, 'You're going to die'; and with the third, 'And we have just these precious moments.' After slowly releasing our embrace, my friend and I looked at each other through our tears."
- from True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart.

I've heard of holding a hug for at least three seconds, but these phrases put the intimacy of a hug in a different, more precious, light. Hanh's words remind me again to focus on the now, and above all to appreciate the people and the love in my life. This story brings to mind a statistic I heard at a school district meeting last week: the average parent spends just two minutes a day listening to his/her child with undivided attention. Attention as a full - (eye) contact sport, with no multi-tasking allowed. The speaker called on us to raise the bar to five minutes each day - one that seems attainable. Aim for three-second hugs and five minutes of attention, with a greater appreciation of the people we love and the fullness of our lives.