Example

When our older son, William, got home from school yesterday he told me his day was good, "except for one bad thing." I inquired as to the nature of this bad thing, expecting a yellow slip (late work), bad test grade, recess malfeasance, or other injury. He refused to tell me right away, and such is the busy nature of our evenings that I actually forgot about it. Right at bedtime he emerged carrying a handwritten letter. His handwriting, his wrongdoing. Apparently he had instigated some monkey-business in class, caused a ruckus, and had to sit down and write an apology.

What he did was not so bad, but what worries me is that he started the fuss because two boys were laughing and chatting loudly. "Was it about you?" I asked. He said he didn't know, though they often discuss people. Of course, my adult brain says "who cares?!" but I know as  fifth-grader in pre-adolescence, people talking can be threatening. For better or worse, William's temperament matches mine and our imaginations can run wild with our emotions following just a split-second behind. I worry, because split-second overreactions have not served me well in life, and they won't help him either.

So I sat down on his bed last night and we talked about breathing, about finding an mantra that he can repeat to himself to calm down or distract himself. These are things that I do, too, but not always successfully, especially if it's during the witching hour between dinner and bedtime or in the morning trying to get everyone (ie Daniel) out the door. So I am left with the feeling that I had better work hard to improve my command of emotions and reactions to model this for William. Kids need to develop interior strength and control to get through middle and high school, and he needs to do the emotional weight training now.

On another note, Rob heads to India tonight for ten days. It's the longest we have been apart in 15 years, so I am preparing best I can, but if you have a chance, please say a prayer for his safety and my sanity.