Wise Women

My spiritual director, my healer, my friend. Three wise women who teach me about myself, and I had a chance to be with them all in the past week.

I haven't called my spiritual director in over five months. Life got busy, money was dear, I was holding it together on my own. But in the aftermath of an energy-changing trip to Spain and the resulting challenge of bringing joy back to my daily life, I felt the need for her counsel.

We discussed the weight of daily news in America, the sense that life as we know it grows every more fragile. How teenagers today feel the frequency of our country's disorganized and somewhat negative energy and how I desperately want to color my children's days with hope and positive energy, though I often feel weighed down by its opposite.

Dominie mused on this for a moment. "You know, there was one generation before that grew up with the weight of knowledge of nuclear power and tense relations between countries. I can't remember what they called that generation but they're now age 26 - 54..."

"That's me!" I broke in. "I think I'm generation X. And it's true - I grew up in the age of concrete bunkers and disturbing viewings of The Day After (a portrait of nuclear devastation visited on the heartland.)  I remember being worried a lot."

"Yes, it was a difficult time. Because you grew up in that environment, the threat and concern is in your DNA, permeates your subconscious.  It's understandable, but you should realize that not everyone feels the same way, and that you might be able to talk back to your fears."

Wow. Relief to think that not everyone worries quite as much as my generation, to absorb the thought that I can talk back to my fears . . . . but how?  I can't just wake up and tell myself life is perfect when I know otherwise.

"How does it feel to tell yourself that no matter what happens, you have the skills and resources to guide your family through it?"  Now that felt authentic, positive, real. I can do that. And in the meantime, Dominie encouraged me to return to the things that brought new joy in Barcelona: art, walking outside, exploring, looking for beauty.  I can find those activities here in Denver, too.

My next wisdom encounter was with my healer. She's not a western MD but more of a functional medicine practitioner, would have been a shaman in ancient times. Jean has helped me coax my body toward health for over ten years. This past week I took Daniel in to see her, and we found that he is highly reactive to gluten and dairy, just like me, just like his siblings.  The coincidence was startling, given that we are not genetically connected.

My healer said, "Daniel fits in your family, and your awareness of these exact issues makes it a perfect place for him. It's not a coincidence that he's with you."   As Daniel fought back tears over losing ice cream and Domino's, I battled similar tears over our new bond, our ability to help him.

And my last wisdom encounter with a good friend, urging me to follow my heart, to look past percentages and numbers and the business of daily life toward peace and joy, toward guiding my whole family toward the same.  It was such a blessing to receive these reminders and support this week as the calendar grew monstrous again, the to-do list so long that I broke it into several smaller lists, and stress mounted. With the help of my wise women I was able to breathe, coach myself back to consciousness, and look forward with positive energy.