Hallow What?

At risk of resembling the evilest of killjoys, the wickedest of witches, I confess to strongly disliking this black-and-orange, candy-crazed holiday. In my decades-long journey to stamp out sugar cravings I have accumulated way too much knowledge about the downside of candy. Such is my repulsion that I've offered to buy Daniel's haul for the princely sum of $40. In exchange for two twenties, he will forgo the eating of Kit-Kat's, Reese's, Almond Joys and Hershey's.  I've allowed him four treats - and the rest is going to the orthodontist.

The older kids have outgrown trick-or-treating and their consumption of holiday treats at school or at parties is out of my purview. But they tell me that they avoid the shiny wrappers, white-crusted, wax chocolate candies that abound among their peers. Both teens break out after eating sugar (just like their mom), and are usually concerned enough about their appearance to break off any new and exciting relationship with addictive desserts.

Before you add me to your "do not read" list for my cruelty and anti-Americanness, let me assure you that I love little kids in costumes. My nephews as firemen or sporting Tigger costumes and monster masks - delightful. My nieces as red MnM's, bumblebees or trolls - adorable! At our church's Trunk or Treat I was charmed by the lambs, wizards, Things 1 and 2's that toddled around in confusion, mutely offering us their empty pumpkins. (They're cutest before they understand the basic transaction, before they override your offer of Kisses and reach down deep into your bucket for a handful of the biggest pieces they can find.)

Pumpkins do blink and grin from our porch, and strings of orange lights guide children in from the street. Aden and I bought masks to wear while we handed out treats . . . . I guess I'm more deeply divided than I thought. With the music of Saint Saens playing in the background, pumpkin muffins on the counter and a fire in the fireplace, I feel the enchantment of the day.  If we could just eliminate the toxic sugar, Halloween would be as purr-fect as a black cat in a pumpkin costume.