Grace and Families

“What most of us live by and for is the love of family – blood family, where the damage occurred, and chosen, where a bunch of really nutty people fight back together. ....  And by the same token, only redeeming familial love can save you from this crucible, along with nature and clean sheets."

-          -Anne Lamott, “Voices” in Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace

This morning I bought some cards - a birthday card, two notes of sympathy for friends who recently lost a parent, and two 'welcome baby' cards. Life is surely a crucible, and I was relieved that the mathematics of my card-buying leaned toward the celebratory. In the face of life's difficulties, nothing seems more glorious, joyful, and just plain hopeful as the birth of a healthy baby. We had the occasion to celebrate such a miracle this week as my youngest brother James and his wife, Molly, welcomed their first child. Little Jack is gorgeous, and the gift of two family babies in a six-month period (nephew and cousin Thomas arrived six months ago) is the lead story at my house. In addition, my brother – in – law, Ron, and his wife, Kelley, just told Rob’s side of the family that they were expecting, which elated my children and inspired an argument around which was more necessary - a boy or girl cousin.

Like everything human-related, families are imperfect. My family of origin jokes that we get along so well because everyone has their own state - sometimes their own time zone. We're living in Los Angeles. San Francisco (northern and southern California really are two different states), northern Montana, Denver, Chicago and Boston. Though more a reaction to job markets and climate preference than a response to "damage occurred" it can be both blessing and curse to be separated by so many miles. Little celebrations pass without family members around, hard times go by and sometimes we don't even know what or whom to pray for. But our big celebrations and our really hard times are definitely noticed - and embraced in all the right ways.

When I was a child getting wounded by the world, my solution to bettering myself (and the rest of civilization) was to 'make it big:' publish the Great American Novel, start a peaceful revolution in Africa, become the CEO of a green company. After years spent establishing and growing a family of my own I realize that all I need to 'make it' on this planet is the love and support of my families - of origin, of creation, of friends who are chosen.