Control Enthusiast

"Patrick Warburton has been called a control freak, but he prefers to be called a control enthusiast."

- National Car Rental Commercial

"I once had a grip on everything

It feels better to let go."

 - lyrics from "I'm Not Over" by Carolina Liar

The return to real life and busy schedules was a plunge into icy water and we all surfaced on Friday gasping for breath. The week before I had outlined the activities and appointments on my old-fashioned paper calendar in green, pink, blue and red and made myself ill with the number of items to be completed each day. As I gripped my pen more firmly and gritted my teeth (I have serious gum issues from all the jaw clenching), I heard the National Car Rental commercial in the background and I had to put it in the first person: "I have been called a control freak, but I prefer to be called a control enthusiast." 

As a control enthusiast, I am tempted to reaffirm my grip on the reins at every beginning: school, new year, summer, etc. After only a few days I realize that I am not in control at all - that illness, a snow storm, a call from a  friend in need - events can quickly and without warning disrupt all of my careful planning. My choice is to let go or be turned into a frazzled, grasping maniac. I let go, and I remember that this works, that somehow everything comes right in the end, whether the kids miss practice, the floor stays unwashed, or we have to wait three nights for a family dinner.   

It's better to let go, to ask for help and to realize that modeling imperfections for your kids only prepares them for the real world, where no one is perfect (and anyone who looks that way is only hiding something). So when we bounced between water polo, two basketball games and a swim clinic yesterday we let go of the reins, called the neighbors, and drank a lot of water. Somehow it worked out, and we made it to a party and babysitting (x2) last night. The cat was grumpy and laundry still going at 10:30 pm, but neither was fatal and we're ready to go again this morning.