No joking around or relevant quotes here; I am an exercise junkie and I am learning how to manage it. Call it recovery, or maturing, or just taking a new direction, but I have to be able to do some exercise to stay healthy and sane, while keeping an eye out for red flags. It's such a struggle when you have a "process addiction" like one with gambling or shopping or sex. These activities are nearly impossible to rule out entirely (like you can with alcohol or drugs) so the recovering person needs to reincorporate some "safe" level of the activity while making sure that s/he doesn't start to slide back into unhealthy habits. Take me, for example, I can safely exercise for about an hour each day, possibly for 90 minutes if there are breaks or if my heart rate doesn't get too high, but if I go over the 6 - 9 hours per week margin, I'll know I am sliding down a slippery road.
I've also decided not to ever sign up for a race or competition again, and I've posted that resolution on the blog before to keep myself honest. While racing I was so invested in beating my previous times and beating the other competitors, that I could become quite selfish by spending huge amounts of time and energy on these goals. My racing came at the expense of time with my family, and obviously at the expense of my health. It also enabled me to attach my worth as a human being to external things like places, times, and my physical appearance. Now I am learning to attach worth to the place I share in loving relationships, and in developing my skills of writing and teaching (hopefully to the benefit of others as well as myself).
So if you ever see me training, feel free to stick out a leg and trip me up. I'll thank you the next day, I can almost promise....
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