Don't Water the Seeds of Suffering

"When we are irritated and we say something unkind to our child, we water the seeds of suffering in him. When he reacts, he waters the seeds of suffering in us. Living this way escalates and strengthens the suffering."  - Thich Nhat Hanh, Your True Home

I think Hanh did his research for this passage in my kitchen. This morning, as with many mornings, Daniel came downstairs loaded for bear. He sings and yells loudly, making an entrance and proceeding to shout, holler and stomp until all one or all of us, who were quietly reading or eating in the early morning calm, loses our temper and says something out of frustration and anger. How do we avoid getting irritated, or if we are irritated, how to avoid saying something unkind?  I'll have to think about my choices and get back to you. Certainly the image of me watering the seeds of suffering in any of my children makes me freeze in my tracks. I want to grow helpful things in their psyche, not hurtful ones. (And I don't need any help from them in watering the seeds of my own suffering!)  Just a thought on a slightly rough Monday morning when Daniel's excitement over the Veteran's Day assembly may have put him over the edge.  Both he and I - and our whole family - are extremely grateful for all of the veterans and men and women still in uniform. Thank you for your service.