What is Your Desire?

"So when your hope's on fire
But you know your desire
Don't hold a glass over the flame
Don't let your heart grow cold
I will call you by name
I will share your road."
- Mumford & Sons, Hopeless Wanderer, Marcus Mumford, lyrics

Another quote from a Mumford & Sons song - I know, I'm getting trite. But I am the ever-so-lucky possessor of a ticket to their show in Taos, New Mexico, and tickled to my toes about it. A few weeks before I knew they would be in Taos, I saw a flurry of New Mexico license plates on the road and had New Mexico come up in several conversations. The mentions were overwhelming enough that I wrote NEW MEXICO?? on the scratch pad in my car. Guess my subconscious knew my friend would get tickets (Thank you, Heather!) and a road trip would be born.

But back to these lyrics. This song really grips me by the gut, though my daughter doesn't like it and insists on singing "Hopeful Wanderer" instead of 'Hopeless" every time the phrase rings out. Much as she sings "Your DRESS takes me to paradise" in her favorite Bruno Mars song, instead of the actual factual, "Your sex takes me to paradise."  I digress . . . my hope has certainly been on fire (and burned out to ashes and embers) many times in the last year. I like the idea of blowing it back into a leaping flame, and not putting a glass over it, but there is one problem; I don't know my desire. I do have some pretty major clues that marathons and triathlons are not the way to go, but that only rules out one of many possible paths.

The depth of my not-knowing is profound. I requested an interview with a medical intuitive, signed up for a skills seminar at church, even begged my husband to let me know if he thought of a desire that I should act on.  I love to teach, take social action, write (short pieces - my patience may never develop to the extent of writing a book), do yoga, hike, be with my kids, and do anything with music.  But you see how the disparate pieces do not come together to form a whole. I feel like a kaleidescope.  And though Mumford may not have meant any religious subtext in these lyrics, I am putting God right in there. If s/he could just call me by name and let me know what to do, I would be most grateful. I would happily share the road, no matter the direction, if I only knew which road to take.