B-E Aggressive?

"Not causing harm obviously includes not killing or robbing or lying to people. It also involves not being aggressive -- not being aggressive in our actions, our speech, or our minds."
- Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart

My spiritual director lent me the Pema Chodron book with the disclaimer that it wasn't negative, or that he meant to imply that my life was falling apart. I took the book with the assurance that my life had certainly fallen apart and I was willing to get whatever input I could on how to put it back together again. Be careful what you wish for.

In last night's reading I found the quote above, and what immediately leapt to mind was my high school cheerleaders singing "Be aggressive, B - E aggressive!" at our basketball and football games. It's been part of my mindset since I was at least 11 or 12, seeking to compete in school and sports. And yet Chodron says I need to break this cycle in order to be non violent with myself and with others.

I see that competition, like anything else, can be done to excess. I see that it isn't inherently bad, but can turn bad.  I've never before seen it as violent. Yet now, as I reflect on how I punished my body in self-competition, drove wedges in friendships due to competition with others, I see that competition is violent, and I am more ready than ever to excise it. Unfortunately, I have those damned cheerleaders singing in my head and each day I have to plug my ears to them, as well as to the voices that tell me I am lost, am no one, if I don't compete for status, money, position, influence, excellence.

But all that was taken away from me in the past four months and those I love and care about did not desert me. It really does turn out to be that my presence is more important than my accomplishments, that "be-ing" is way more important than doing. All I need to do now is remember that little fact as I re-enter the mainstream of life.