Parting is such sweet sorrow

“Romeo:
I would I were thy bird.

Juliet:
Sweet, so would I,
Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.
Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.”

- From “Romeo and Juliet” by William Shakespeare

Our holiday week over, I sit in front of the computer replete with happy emotions and a tinge of exhaustion, trying to determine where the time went. Hosting two siblings and my parents was truly a wonderful task, made easy by my mom’s constant help and everyone’s desire to supply dinner for the family (they have too much experience with my cooking!) Though we did not overschedule our time by any means, the days were quickly divided by different groups going shopping, baking, stealing out to grab coffee and chat, fit in exercise, and – of course – entertain the children with games, books, movies and art. We were able to host some friends on Christmas Day evening for dessert and drinks and what a wonderful communal table to experience. Now I am left with sweet memories and the sting of good-bye, made deeper by the great distance that separates my home from my family members’.

Interestingly, though we all get along quite well (I have four siblings), we have staked claims to different territories, putting down roots in such disparate cities as Los Angeles, San Francisco, Denver, Chicago, Boston and Polson, Montana. Though certainly careers and economics have a role in determining our locations, there seems to be a deeper emotional connection to place which binds us to our locale and keeps us separate from each other. Two brothers have married amazing women with loving and devoted families who live in the area of their adopted hometowns, and these families are wonderful additions to our immediate unit and certainly help to anchor my brothers in their cities. I know that occasionally these close-knit tribes wonder how, exactly, we came to live so far apart, given that we are share strong bonds.

Certainly I have wondered that, too, despite my own love of place and desire to stay in Colorado. Perhaps our history of moving every 2 -3 years growing up (I moved three times between 6^th and 11^th grade) not only made us close to each other but also deepened our desire for a “permanent” place to call home. Perhaps we grew up each wanting to make a name for him or her self and felt the need to separate from parents and siblings in order to become a success. Perhaps we know that if we lived closer together we would run into the hiccups and hurdles that any relationship faces upon close examination – and close quarters. Certainly Juliet realized that if she had kept Romeo on a short leash (as her bird) she could kill him with her affection.

Whatever the reason, I am profoundly grateful for visits, be they fleeting or lengthy – and for the emotion of sorrow which accompanies family members’ departure. I used to rebel against the circumstances and bemoan the distance, but a wise friend quoted the following for me and forever changed my perception:

"He who binds to himself a joy

Does the wingéd life destroy;

But he who kisses the joy as it flies

Lives in eternity's sun rise.”

- William Blake

I have kissed the joy as it flew above and around our home at Christmastime and will carry its memory in my heart as we move into 2010, trying not to bind it to me but to cherish its light.