Auto Correct

When I became ill several years ago I confronted a number of unpleasant truths about myself. My strong will, which I had imagined as an asset, had become an overlarge hammer that I used to pound big nails through common sense and realism. My overdeveloped sense of competition pushed me into unnecessary conflict with friends and family obligations and my impatience shortchanged relationships with the kids and my spouse. Now that I am fully awake to my flaws, I had hoped to avoid them in all future actions.

Not so. Like a bad scratch on an old vinyl record, these bugaboos come around time and again. For example, it was pointed out to me that my conflict with Daniel over his Brain Highways exercises originated with my impatience and frustration over where he was in his development compared to the other kids in the class. My subconscious put-downs and message of "not enough-ness" transmitted to Daniel and understandably gave him quite an attitude.

Why can't life be like email, when - if you type a common word wrong - a program auto corrects spelling for you so that your fingers can continue on their merry way? If that were true then my poor coaching / bribing/ threatening demeanor would have been instantly overridden in any of the last four days of exercises. I would instantly transmogrified into a positive, supportive and inspirational parent, placing my relationship with my child ahead of any short term goals. Instead, my son and I have to suffer for almost a week before the light bulb goes off in my still-dingy cranium, and a friend points out what I need to do to get the situation on track. At least now I see it quickly (when it's pointed out), but I still think auto correct would make all of our lives easier.