Overriding the Negative

Daniel and I are taking a development class from Brain Highways (www.brainhighways.com) and we are learning so many things about the brain. For example, I've heard in the past that people tend to focus more on negative comments and experiences, sometimes requiring ten positives to counterbalance one negative, but I assumed this was a flaw in human nature as opposed to a hardwired tendency in the brain. Not so - it is the brain that focuses more on negative experiences because these could pose a threat to our survival.  Only after we evaluate and disregard the threat can we even notice the positives that are right in front of our nose.

Here's how it works, according to Clifford Nass:

“This is a general tendency for everyone,” said Clifford Nass, a professor of communication at Stanford University in a recent article in the NY Times…“Some people do have a more positive outlook, but almost everyone remembers negative things more strongly and in more detail.”

Research tells us, bad feedback has much more of an impact than good feedback. In fact, “The brain handles positive and negative information in different hemispheres,” said Professor Nass… Negative emotions generally involve more thinking, and the information is processed more thoroughly than positive ones, he said. Thus, we tend to ruminate more about unpleasant events — and use stronger words to describe them — than happy ones.”

(http://lindseycaplan.com/2012/03/26/why-our-brains-focus-on-the-negative-via-the-new-york-times/, accessed February 3, 2015)

The upshot of this research is that we have to work hard at noticing and processing positive experiences. We have to work against the traits which brought us evolutionary success in order to appreciate the friends, family, experiences and natural world that surround us. Keeping a gratitude journal helps me, and asking the kids about their positive experiences in detail helps them. If we don't work hard to process and retain the warm emotions that surround good experiences they will be fleeting, quickly lost in the fresh storm of negatives. But fortunately we can do the work, and reap the benefits, of focusing on the good things in our lives.