As Time Goes By

To our great surprise and delight, Rob and I find ourselves off work this week. Without schedules and lengthy to-do lists our days blur into one another and we lose track of the date, the grocery shopping and the laundry. The kids sleep in and I set the alarm later, we eat when we are hungry and not when the daily calendar indicates a space for lunch or dinner, and if not for the fact that every family member received a watch for Christmas and all the devices (Ipod, Ipad, Chromebook, smart phones) tell time, we could almost lose track of the hours. In a romantic moment I fantasized that we could live like prairie settlers or indigenous folk, who were more in tune with nature and free of the clock's tyranny. Perhaps, without calendars and without mirrors, we could even live in blissful ignorance of the aging process.

I mention aging because Rob is using his free time to put all of our old photos and videos on the Dravenstott website. Watching videos from our engagement and wedding was surprisingly painful when I barely recognize the two people in the center of the lens. I can hardly appreciate the joy of the moment in all my musings: "look at all the hair I / we had then!" or "where did all of that collagen go?" Even while poring over videos of the children as babies I get distracted by my wrinkle-less face and my glowing skin. Part  of the damage may have been moving from moisture-laden San Francisco to the high-desert Denver, but let's not kid ourselves. Fifteen years of living, particularly a few years of living through extreme stress, will alter a person's exterior landscape.

Rob has been working for days on this project so I have had a lot of time to process my own thoughts. My conclusions are hardly revolutionary:  first, the only alternative to aging is to not be here at all, so I'm grateful for the gift of participation in this life and in the growing of my children. Second, I do treasure the bonds that have grown and developed between my  husband and I since we stepped out on this journey together. We don't wear our blessings on our faces, as we did in our early videos, but we carry countless more in our hearts. I like to think that even if we're not wise, we're a few steps farther on the path, and we're certainly wise enough to treasure the amazing gifts that we have in one another and in our family, which is lucky enough to still be on the journey together.

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I wish you all a New Year replete with loving relationships, strength to overcome challenges, and gratitude for the good things in life.