Family Moab

Family Moab
In Arches National Park

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Difficult Conversations

"Writing a poem is not so different - it is a kind of possible love affair between something like the heart (that courageous but also shy factory of emotion) and the learned skills of the conscious mind."
 - Mary Oliver in A Poetry Handbook, p7

Mary Oliver's handbook on poetry reads like a poem, and her words about the courageous yet shy heart hold a universal truth that brings clarity to a period of difficult conversations in my life. I am 43 now, and my friends' ages are similar, which means that we have experienced some of the tragedies of life. We have walked or crawled through dark valleys and emerged with scars.

When we talk about the difficult times -when we cry or laugh hysterically through our tears - we get scared. Afterward we may have an "emotional hangover" when we regret sharing our innermost hurts, hopes and fears. When rational thought kicks back in, that courageous but shy heart turns back on itself to hide and heal.

This seems natural to me, especially after reading Oliver's beautiful line, but I so appreciate courageous sharing.  I would never wish any of my dear ones to travel through a vale of tears, just as I did not ask for, or enjoy, my own dark time. But now we can share heart-to-heart in a rich tapestry from great joy to deep sorrow. It's a blessed communion, and though rare, it connects us in ways that are holy and lasting.

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