Though "creeping tide" could easily refer to floodwaters in and around the Front Range, today it relates to me along the lines of change. I looked around the house over the long weekend and was gratified to see that we have slowly been changing, rearranging, subtracting and cleaning, so that our house today looks different than it did 18 months ago, when my illness started. The kitchen table is bigger and cleaner, and that is now where I sit to do most of my writing. The family room has been compressed and cleaned, and the living room has new lamps and new pictures. The changes - even the carpet cleaning we did two weeks ago - creep over the house slowly and almost unbidden they wipe out signs and reminders of being sick.
There is a saying that "the more things change the more they stay the same." I used to find that comforting,a s change can be challenging for me as well as for many people. From my morning meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh "If you suffer, it's not because things are impermanent. It's because you believe things are permanent." Later followed by this: "Impermanence is good news. Without impermanence, nothing would be possible. With impermanence, ever door is open for change." (Your True Home, Thich Nhat Hanh)
When things are going well change seems like it could only hurt, and we cling to the notion that things stay the same. But when we come from a dark place, change can only mean better. The new pictures, clean carpets, different routines and activities in our house signify an immensely positive and amazing change for the better. I'd like to carry my appreciation of change on into the good times, recognizing even that in good times open doors can bring fresh chances and new perspectives. For now I'll enjoy the cessation of rain and the fresh clean view from our new kitchen table.
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