Family Moab

Family Moab
In Arches National Park

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Does Your Face Light Up?

Back to Brene Brown today. I've just finished Daring Greatly and talked about the book with friends this weekend, especially the portions on parenting. Then I had coffee with a different friend this morning, who came to the table all set to persuade me to go watch the TED talks on Shame and Vulnerability given by Brown. Lo and behold my Kindle was open to those pages of the book! Talk about coincidence, or being in the flow, or the synchronicity of the universe, but it was quite timely.

Anyhoo,  there is a beautiful quote in the parenting section of the book that I must share with you. Brown is quoting the writer Toni Morrison, as she gave an interview to Oprah Winfrey in May of 2000. Morrison is talking about what happens when a child (your child) walks into a room.

"She asked, "Does your face light up?" She explained, "When my children used to walk in the room when they were little, I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or if their socks were up.... You think your affection and your deep love is on display because you're caring for them. It's not. When they see you, they see the critical face. What's wrong now?" Her advice was simple, but paradigm-shifting for me. She said, "Let your face speak what's in your heart. When they walk in the room my face says I'm glad to see them. It's just as small as that, you see?"
-Brene Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable transforms the Way we Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Simple, beautiful, and sometimes difficult, but not so difficult that we can't accomplish this small thing. When the boys burst into the door already fighting, or in tears, or when Aden stomps into a room loaded for bear, I can still look at them with love on my face and be glad to see them, at least for that moment. This goes for our spouse or significant other, as well. Let your face speak what's in your heart.


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