St. Teresa of Avila

I have been meditating on a short, simple prayer by St. Teresa of Avila, a beloved Catholic saint. As I was raised Catholic, this feels a tiny bit like coming home, and also like a journey into completely unknown territory. But St. Teresa's prayer has helped me to center myself over the past few days, and over the past six weeks or so that I have used it. I hope it may be helpful to you.

Let Nothing Upset You

Let nothing upset you;
Let nothing frighten you.
Everything is changing;
God alone is changeless.
Patience attains the goal.
Who has God lacks nothing;
God alone fills every need.

- St. Teresa of Avila

http://www.easwaran.org/saint-teresa-of-avila-let-nothing-upset-you.html

One Suffering

"There is only one suffering and we all share in it."
- Lady Julian of Norwich

At this moment what I really want is to write about Christmas plans, gifts purchased, and cards received, but I cannot. My heart is still heavy over the tragedy at Arapahoe High School, and about this mad, crazy world that we all live in. This morning as I prepared to swim, the locker room television flashed scenes from the Harvard University Science Center, which stood right outside my window all of freshman year. Apparently there was a bomb scare, and the Science Center - along with three other buildings - was evacuated. It appears, most fortunately, that no one was injured, but finals were cancelled today and I bet that students were far more stressed than relieved by the turn of events. Boston has suffered much in the past year. In a way, Centennial, CO, and Cambridge/Boston, MA are twin cities.

But as I had that thought while swimming freestyle down the sunlit length of the pool, Lady Julian's quote immediately came to mind. We all share in each other's suffering. When the event hits close to home in a geographical sense, the emotional impact is often greater, but even when events occur on the other side of the world, we can share the pain. We are far more good than bad, more kind and loving than vicious and hurtful, and more desirous of joy than sorrow. I do believe that.

The Buddhists have a practice called tonglen, which is a method for dealing with our own pain and the pain of others tenderly and compassionately. I'll let Pema Chodron explain it for me:

"The tonglen practice is a method for connecting with suffering —ours and that which is all around us— everywhere we go. It is a method for overcoming fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of our heart. Primarily it is a method for awakening the compassion that is inherent in all of us, no matter how cruel or cold we might seem to be. 

We begin the practice by taking on the suffering of a person we know to be hurting and who we wish to help. For instance, if you know of a child who is being hurt, you breathe in the wish to take away all the pain and fear of that child. Then, as you breathe out, you send the child happiness, joy or whatever would relieve their pain. This is the core of the practice: breathing in other's pain so they can be well and have more space to relax and open, and breathing out, sending them relaxation or whatever you feel would bring them relief and happiness."
From http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/tonglen1.php, Dec. 16, 2013

So today I'll attempt tonglen for Claire Davis, for the family of the shooter, for students and law enforcement here and at Harvard, and for all of us who want to share relief and happiness instead of fear and suffering.

Prayers for Arapahoe High School

I was getting an IV for chelation today when I got the robo-call from our school district that all schools were on a secure perimeter due to an incident at a neighboring school district. On the drive home I tuned into AM radio and was horror-struck at the news that a shooting had occurred at Arapahoe High School, a facility only a few miles west from us, on the same cross street. As I neared home I saw police cars racing to the scene and heard the sirens.

It's far too close to home. I've been crying all afternoon and now I have to pull myself together to present a calmer face to the children. Since I had called Rob sobbing, he came home and we'll go get them together - a rare enough event that will have them thinking - but a comforting one, I hope.


Please join me in praying for students and parents at Arapahoe HS. These tragedies have gone on for far too long, and we all want our children safe. No one should have to get the call that Arapahoe parents received, or Newtown parents, or Columbine parents. Let's pray that we can help create a better world for our kids.

I Come to Him Running

A new and already dear friend told me about the following quote when we met last Tuesday. It's beautiful phrasing tells us that God loves us far more than we can imagine. I repeated this passage to William last night when he was having trouble sleeping and the most beautiful smile spread across his face. I hope that it has the same effect on you:

Says the Almighty:

"I am at My servant’s expectation.  And I am indeed with him when he makes mention of Me.  If he remembers Me secretly in his mind, I will likewise secretly remember him in My mind.  But if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I will make mention of him in an assembly far better than it.  If he draws nearer to Me the distance of a hand’s span, I draw nearer to him an arm’s length.  And if he draws nearer to Me by an arm’s length, I draw nearer to him by a fathom’s length.  If he comes to Me walking, I will come to him running."

- A Holy Hadith, slightly modified from the translation given by Mahmoud Ayoub in his Islam: Faith and History,  found at http://www.patheos.com/blogs/danpeterson/2013/10/i-will-come-to-him-running.html

Just think - if we draw closer to God by a hand's width, he will move toward us the length of our arm; if we move toward him the length of our arm he will come a fathom closer, and if we but take a few steps toward God, God will come to us running. I can only imagine the embrace when God reaches each one of us. May this blessing be yours today!

LYL

Monday morning I received an email that William's basketball practice had been switched from Thursday to Tuesday from 7 - 8 pm, a time when Daniel has hip hop, Aden has Klife, and I had a cross fit session. I thought I forwarded my reply directly to Rob, saying "need help with boys b/t 7 and 8 Tuesday."  I signed it LYL, Laura, as I normally do.

Lo and behold I sent that email to the entire team, a fact I only realized that evening. Several of my amazing neighbors and parental teammates had replied saying they could help me, ignoring the terse tone of my email and lack of proper asking graces. Rob and the kids thought it was hilarious that I had told the entire basketball team I "love you lots."  Daniel, in particular, was in stitches rolling around on the couch telling everyone that I loved William's coach. I don't even know how he understood the situation, but apparently making fun of mom is good sport for everyone.

The thing of it is, I do love you all. This neighborhood and other blog-reading friends brought our family six months of meals in my illness, and took care of our kids' transportation and entertainment needs. This year, our neighbors are contributing to make Christmas happen for three other families in the school district who are on free or reduced lunch and need some help. We planned another three weeks' of meals for dear friends who have a serious surgery next week, and we just generally have each others' backs.  To all of you - LYL. No, seriously, I do.