Mandela

Mandela's memorial service takes place today. The government expects over 90,000 people in the stadium, with up to 200,000 watching from screens around Johannesburg. In honor of a great man, I want to share some of his words that read like prose poems and inspire the human spirit.

I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.

For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.

As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.

There is no such thing as part freedom.

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.

From  http://therumpus.net/2013/12/david-biespiels-poetry-wire-the-poetry-of-nelson-mandela/

Work from the Floor

"The first product of self-knowledge is humility."  - Flannery O'Connor

William had his first two basketball games on Saturday. In the first half of the double-header they faced a tough team who had just won 42 - 2. Our boys hustled their socks off and pushed that team to a much tougher 20 - 16 game (we lost). They sprinted up and down the floor, hit that same floor hard to fight for a jump ball or a rebound. My second-grader, Daniel, who is just learning the game of basketball, was impressed by how much of the action took place from the floor. "You can pass from there?" he asked William.  "Sure," said big brother, "you can't move from that spot so you have to do something with the ball."

This exchange reminded me viscerally of a letter I read from "Sugar"  (Cheryl Strayed, the author of Wild) to an aspiring writer who was bemoaning her lack of success at a young age, and feeling paralyzed by the gap between her need to be great and her "limitations, insecurities, jealousies and ineptitude."  I've just gotta say - I have SO been there. Sugar shoots back an amazing letter, leading with the quote from O'Connor. She later explains the origins of the word 'humility':

"The word comes from the Latin words humilis and humus. To be down low. To be of the earth. To be on the ground. That's where I went when I wrote the last word of my first book. Straight onto the cool tile floor to weep."  She explains how the book came about:

"I 'd finally been able to give it because I'd let go of all the grandiose ideas I'd once had about myself and my writing - so talented! So young!"  We were most of us there at one time, with high expectations and no idea of how to achieve them, sure of our potential greatness and depressed because greatness sure takes a long time to show up and make a circle around the room. Sugar describes this as being "up too high and down too low. Neither is the place where we get any work done."

And here's the best part. "We get the work done on the ground level. And the kindest thing I can do for you is to tell you to get your ass on the floor. I know it's hard to write, darling. But it's harder not to. The only way you'll find out if you 'have it in you' is to get to work and see if you do." Hallelujah, amen.  When you're down on the floor you can't move so you had better get to work and do something with that ball. In basketball, in writing, in relationships, in all things, get on the ground, open your mind, and get to work.

Madness

"I have finally seen the light
And I have finally realised what you mean
And now I need to know is this real love
Or is it just madness keeping us afloat?
MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA Mad Mad Mad
MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA Mad Mad Mad"

From "Madness" by Muse, lyrics by Matthew Bellamy

It's madness to send your child off to school at -8 degrees Fahrenheit....

Madness to casually time the skid of your minivan as you take a left turn out of your driveway...

Madness to lift your head to survey the echoing cavern of pod C at the detention center, temporarily filled with forty men in orange and red jumpsuits, listening to you teach basic Spanish and English . . .

Madness to make it to tutoring, Spanish class, basketball practice, Scouts and a band concert in one day  . . . 

(and sheer relief that two of those were cancelled due to Arctic chill),

Sheer glorious madness to order Christmas cards and spend three hours updating the Christmas card address list  . . . 

Because last year, I couldn't do any of it, not at all.

Thank you, God, for the sheer glorious madness of participating in this life!

Poems Every Woman Should Read

My poetry teacher forwarded a link to Anne Barngrover's List of 25 Poems Everyone Should read (http://www.missourireview.com/tmr-blog/author/anne/) which she had posted in response to Oprah's list of "Six Poems Everyone Should Read." (http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Mark-Nepo-Poems--Reduced-to-Joy-Book)  Barngrover's list is a great resource, and she compiled it with the help of other writers and critical readers. The divine Miss Emily Dickinson has four poems on that list, and I've included one below. I'll periodically visit this list when the mood strikes or when my daily life is devoid of inspiration. The poem I've chosen today fits my mood as I transition from certain groups or activities that occupied my time in the past few years to others that can help me explore new directions.

The Soul Selects Her Own Society

The Soul selects her own Society --
Then -- shuts the Door --
To her divine Majority --
Present no more --

Unmoved -- she notes the Chariots -- pausing --
At her low Gate --
Unmoved -- an Emperor be kneeling
Upon her Mat --

I've known her -- from an ample nation --
Choose One --
Then -- close the Valves of her attention --
Like Stone -- 

Emily Dickinson

Garth on Parenting

Last week I caught an interview with Garth Brooks that Ellen DeGeneres aired on her show. Garth gave up making music for a long stretch between the 90's and 2009 - no tours, no records, no nothing - in order to raise his three children. Ellen commented on how amazing that was, and he quickly responded "Oh no, that was a gift from God that I was able to do that, and I am convinced that 99% of parents would do the same thing if they could." He added, "I thought if I could stay home and be with them, the time wouldn't go so fast, but it still just flew right by."  Wow. I know intellectually that I am super lucky to stay at home with my kiddos but I haven't always felt that way. In fact, if I had family members around to watch my three I would have wanted to work more - so I'm not sure how right he is in his estimate of 99% - but I have to say the interview made me appreciate my position.

Now is all the time we have with our loved ones, and if they're our children, the time is even more limited, because they are definitely going to leave (or probably, almost, keep our-fingers-crossed definitely). How precious is the commotion around the dinner table, the daily homework tutorial and snack time in the afternoons, the holiday decorating tradition. In his interview, Garth went on to say how much he loved holidays like Thanksgiving, because "For three minutes you get 'em back at the same table and get to love on 'em a little bit." I can't imagine a time when we won't have that on a regular basis, but it's coming as sure as the after-Christmas bills.

So to all of us, working outside or inside the home or doing both, let's raise a glass to where we are now and to the time that we have with our loved ones. It's life's little guarantee that everything will change, so here's to messy, loud, infuriating and amazing kids, and the time we get to share with them.