Having grown up in the Catholic church as an oldest child and a girl in the 1970's when Title 9 was fledgling and the 80's anthem "You can do whatever you want" not yet unfurled, my internal dialogue was often dominated by "shoulds." My wonderful parents did not contribute significantly to this - American, church, and grade school society overflowed with the sentiment. A young girl always had something she "should" be doing.
Many decades along, having purged most of my Catholic guilt and many general "shoulds" from my emotional vocabulary, I was surprised and delighted to hear the phrase "Stop 'should-ing' all over yourself" from Katie Hoff on the Unfiltered Waters podcast. Upon first hearing it sounded like a much different and dirtier statement, which compounded my delight.
The angle of the "Unfiltered" podcast (created by former Olympic swimmers and World Record-holders Katie Hoff and Missy Franklin Johnson) is the "real" person behind the athlete, the true and difficult emotions that come with competing, winning and losing at the highest levels of sport. Our culture seems to be working toward this greater awareness of the human toll taken by an overdrive to excellence, media focus and the demands of USA fans. Simone Biles, Michael Phelps, Caeleb Dressel and others have been heroically transparent in the difficulties behind their star-studded careers and raised awareness across the board, but the work has just started.
Hoff and Franklin Johnson explain the work they've done in their own lives to acknowledge feelings without judging them, erasing the "Shoulds" and simply dealing with "what is." The reminder works for those of us who are not heroic athletes, but just generally flawed human beings. I can't wait to use that phrase again ;-).
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