Duck, Duck, Goose

I navigated my way through Friday swim lessons without any hilarious diversions, which made for a smooth but less entertaining shift. This morning, however, a Canadian goose nearly knocked me down in the 303 Coffee parking lot, which kicked in some adrenaline. With hands full of lattes, I had to pause in the middle of oncoming traffic, guessing whether to duck left or weave right. Fortunately the goose got some extra lift and squawked by two feet overhead.

The incident struck me as apt, since I am bobbing, ducking and weaving my way through May. You have to hand it to the old May-hem, even as we're emerging from a pandemic it manages to hurl everything but the kitchen sink at parents. Thursday brought a swim meet (where I got to time in person), an in-person choir concert (where the program was streamlined and guests limited), to a track meet. My heart rate hasn't gone down yet, so stimulated was I by all of this in-person excitement. After 15 months of introverted escape, the rapid expansion of community takes my breath away.

Psychologists and a viral post by actor Anthony Hopkins urge us to keep our innermost social circles small, as we have during the past year of COVID-19. As we emerge like newborns into our previously normal social scene, some of us are gasping and crying like colicky babies. Others are delighted and unfazed, even energized by the growth of human interactions. To them I ask for patience, for tolerance of those of us who keep a tight inner circle like a life preserver around us, and for whom the open ocean of bigger groups and large events seems perilous, like swimming with sharks or dodging our way through a flock of Canadian geese.

Graduation looms, as do grad parties, vacations and other opportunities to mingle. I'll have to put my big girl pants on and self-talk my way into a semblance of composure. My fumbles of the past few weeks make this more difficult, as I rambled (way too loudly), and found myself divulging facts I should keep private at several volunteer events. I've never been good at small talk and now I've completely lost my way. I don't even know if I want to find it again, but I'll do my best to keep flying forward.