Alexa, Take Over

While shopping at King Sooper's (for those of you outside Colorado, yes, this is a terrible name for a grocery store), I pulled out my phone and saw that Alexa had completed 75% of the steps necessary for buying a bedside lamp.  After consulting my grocery list and happily checking off the items I had in my cart, I had slipped the phone into my purse with the Alexa app open. It somehow drilled down on the "desk lamp" on my list, then onto a website about desk lamps, then onto Amazon to purchase said lamp.  I swear that my finger was one mis-click away from purchasing furniture sight unseen, a fate I narrowly escaped by wildly fumbling my phone and then dropping it on the hard tile floor.

Alexa might as well take over my whole life, since I'm fumbling just about everything regarding the start of summer.  Jumping into the lack of routine after our trip to Boston, I must have communicated my stress and discombobulation to the kids, who promptly manifested it back. Daniel complained bitterly about going to summer swim practices, then reverted two days later to loving summer swim and complaining bitterly about going to day camp.  Aden had to juggle her coaching job with the college boot camp I enrolled her in (way back in January, not realizing), and William struggled to regain his composure after the stress of  high school swimming.

The last point breaks my heart. While sad that Daniel's day camp is primarily for younger kids and he's missing days of swim practice, I am fairly desolate over William, who now associates swimming with anxiety to such an extent that he can't go to a practice (let alone a meet) without feeling nauseous. Club swim is out, summer swim may be out, everything may be out.  After doing so well and seemingly loving the sport this spring, the dual dark sides of overtraining and pressure have reared their heads. I'm passionate about the sport but I'm infinitely more passionate about my child, and a trifecta of  emotions roils in my own gut: guilt, anxiety over a loss of control, and anger that something that was supposed to be fun has turned into something hard and painful.

It's not too late to turn it all over to Alexa. Maybe she can generate some upward momentum for a summer that's staggered off to a rough start.