The Most Powerful Woman

Parenting has been on my mind. If you followed the two previous blog entries you'll know that I am still digesting the November issue of The Sun (thesunmagazine.org). The articles, poems, and stories focus on parenting and offer thought-provoking insights. Lots of tidbits on mothering, like this gem from Jennifer Senior in her interview with Mark Leviton: "A woman who stays home used to be called a 'housewife' or 'homemaker.' Now she is a 'stay-at-home mom'. The emphasis has changed from the place to the person. Keeping the home is no longer the focus of an American mother's life. Kids are." (in Great Expectations: Jennifer Senior on Modern Parenthood and its Discontents),

Moms know this, of course, but to have the linguistic proof set me back a step. Our focus on our kids - their well-being, success, and happiness - has become the standard of our lives. No wonder most of us are slightly crazy; you can't ensure the path of another person's life.  I grasped at Natalia Ginzburg's advice to 'step away' from the kids and 'provide space' for their life to develop as if the phrases were life preservers and I was a floater in the Black Sea. Both Ginzburg and Senior argue that the best way to show a child how to develop a passion and find a vocation is to have one ourselves. Blessed be.

While making these mental adjustments, I opened the new issue of National Geographic, which has the Virgin Mary on the cover with this caption: "The Most Powerful Woman in the World". (http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/).  No pressure, ladies. If this is the standard we have to live up to, no wonder we find motherhood stressful. Dads are lucky that Jesus didn't develop a similar studly reputation for fatherhood. Joseph is great, but not quite cover photo material.

I found this quote from poet Adrienne Rich to be more analogous to my experience as a parent: "The worker can unionize, go out on strike; mothers are divided from each other in homes, tied to their children by compassionate bonds; our wildcat strikes have most often taken the form of physical or mental breakdown."  In this crazy month of to-do lists on steroids, let's remember to reach out to one another, to give ourselves and our kids some space, and to put down the exaggerated role models. We're just doing the best we can, and that has to be enough.