Presence

It's no coincidence that many birthday invitations read "No presents - just your presence!"  Though most of my peers would agree that the gift of someone's time means more than any dollar amount, it's still helpful to be reminded of the value of a friend.

On Friday night we celebrated the 50th birthday of a good friend whose wife had gone all out to make sure he didn't know about the party. In the row of friends and family holding the S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E signs was a college friend who flew in from upstate New York to visit the birthday boy, whom he hadn't seen in decades.  When we blocked the road with our signs and released the balloons, the honoree smiled and looked grateful and certainly surprised, but when he saw his dear friend holding up the second R, his face just morphed into a beautiful expression of shock and love and gratitude. All of us who saw this recognition and their ensuing embrace teared up, men and women turning aside to dab at their eyes and wave their hands in that helpless, mid-life expression which signifies "I don't know why I'm crying but dammit, here I go again!"

Rob also celebrated his birthday yesterday. Since it wasn't one of the "big ones" we had a quieter family day at home, but it was lovely to watch him read the cards from parents and his grandmother and brothers and the kids, and to remember what a gift his life is to all of us. Without Rob, the kids wouldn't be here, and I would be in a radically different place. We are blessed by each other, that's a fact, and we don't need to be You Tube sensations, Facebook fanatics, or Instagram addicts to know that our presence is a gift and the people in our lives are gifts to us.