Advice on a Thirteenth Birthday

Aden returned from Los Angeles late Wednesday evening. She traveled solo via Southwest and came into view at baggage claim to Rob's shout of recognition and my teary hug. I couldn't let her go for several long minutes and we both cried - for my relief that she was safe and for her relief to have managed the trip by herself, combined with sorrow at leaving her aunt and cousin. Aunt Karen showed Julia and Aden a marvelous time, visiting Medieval Times, the Long Beach Aquarium, and the beach for a picnic and boogie boarding. Aden celebrated her 13th birthday there with a cake and special dinner, while I worked desperately at finishing her birthday scrapbook of wishes and notes from many friends and relatives.

The outpouring of love, support and advice from Aden's aunts, uncles and grandparents made me cry repeatedly, as I cut and pasted their words and pictures in her bright pink book. Aden could only take in a few pages on her first night home, and has read the rest a few at a time over the next few days. All of the letters are special, but as we prepare to go back to school I wanted to share this excellent advice from Aden's great-aunt Kathy, who taught high school for over thirty years. I intend to follow these tenets myself:

·      -  The teens that have the most fun are those willing to look the most foolish.  They are not characterized as foolish by their peers, but rather as brave and wholeheartedly participating.

·       - Teens think that everyone else is watching them.  It’s not only false; it’s impossible.

·        -Those who ask questions at school will not “look stupid” (unless the teacher answered the very same question five seconds ago).  Rather, their classmates will be silently grateful that their question was answered.

·        -The key to being a good conversationalist is to be a good listener.  What you learn from others will give clues for questions to ask, reactive comments, and other topics of discussion.

·        -The sweetest sound to a person is their name, so use it often when talking to them.

·        -People like to associate with those who are happy with their lives and show it on their faces.

·        -Just because everyone else does something, doesn’t mean you also need to do it.  First, everyone may NOT be doing it.  Second, be an independent thinker; stay true to your beliefs; treat yourself well and expect the same treatment from others, because you deserve it.