Valentine's Day compares to Christmas in Daniel's eyes. His countdown began Monday, his class Valentines were ready and in his backpack by Tuesday, and his cards for the family were hidden in his special desk drawer that same day. He was afraid to go to Spanish before school this morning, thinking that perhaps his classmates might assemble extra early and have their special brunch before he could get to school at the normal time. Rob teased him last night, asking "what day is tomorrow, Daniel?" and the little man leaped over our couch while shouting "Valentine's Day" at the top of his (considerable) lungs.
Daniel's appreciation is poignant because today is also our Family Day. On February 14th, 2008, we sat for several hours in the US Embassy in Guatemala City. The boys played blocks and Aden colored on the floor as we waited for Daniel's US Passport to be issued and to be given our official approval to make him the youngest member of our family. For me, Family Day both transcends this Hallmark holiday and injects it with new meaning. When a friend asked about my Valentine's plans with Rob, I told her we always have a family dinner and give Daniel a present from our long-ago shopping in Guatemala. "Not so romantic," I offered, but she replied, "that's exactly the definition of romantic."
In my explorations of healing I have been told many times to ditch my deeply ingrained emphasis on intelligence and knowledge and switch to feeling and "knowing." As William Blake wrote, "we are put on earth for a little space that we might learn to bear the beams of love" (Quoted in Tattoos on the Heart, by Gregory Boyle). It's challenging to re-train my brain and heart and reject forty years of societal indoctrination, but I really think that Daniel has the right idea. It's all about relationships and love and joy. Anything else is just drama.
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