Oh my gosh no, another cat post!

Why cats may seem like a better bet than children . .  .

The cat, he purreth loudly, as I start to write this ode on his behalf. He eats tidily from his little bowls, and never questions my choice of meals. When he desires more food, he meows pitifully and looks at me with big gold eyes, never using the words "I'm starving! What do we have?" in churlish voice.

The cat is quiet, padding around on elegant little paws that will never require boat-sized shoes. He washes regularly without reminders and cleans up after himself. He rumbles in his chest and closes his eyes blissfully when I pet him, blinking his eyes slowly to show adoration. He never utters the words "Mom!! Mom!! Mom!!" in demanding or disappointed tones.

The cat is small. He sleeps much of the day and night. When I step on his paw or his tail by horrible accident, he forgives me immediately and comes back for consolation. He never remembers my slight to throw it back in my face, as in "You stepped on my tail this morning and so I deserve extra ice cream tonight!"

The cat does not struggle with peer issues; his family suffices. He doesn't require carpools. He charms visitors to the home with his polite curiosity. He doesn't like loud music. The view out the window entertains him for hours. He doesn't need to learn math.  Best of all - he likes me in workout clothes and without makeup.

All hail the cat!