Back To School Nights

I've been a hamster on the Back to School treadmill for the past two weeks and now slump over my laptop with the first of many cups of black tea, sighing in relief for Fridays and trying to plan a big sleep over the weekend. We're blessed to live in a school district where teachers and schools welcome parents and community members, plan for BTSN, and dedicate entire evenings to the process of greeting and informing thousands of parents, but these first ten days have exhausted everyone.

And yes, I did say "thousands.' Last night at Aden's high school, one of the assistant principals told us that he estimated between 3500 and 5000 parents would attend the BTSN.  I was in shock for a number of reasons: my fitbit said that I walked two miles to get to all of Aden's classes, we had just walked into - and out of - the special college prep counseling room with hundreds of collegiate pennants hanging from the ceiling, and Rob and I had just finished musing on the lack of any kind of back to school night at our high schools. In fact, what memory tells me (and it could be lying) was that my parents took me to seventh grade, wished me luck with college planning, and did not set foot on my middle school or high school campuses until graduation.

So we either live in an incredible district or just see the real-time effects of helicopter parenting, or both, as we jostle for space in crowded corridors and wipe sweat from our brow in overcrowded classrooms. I almost laughed out loud on Tuesday at the 7th grade BTSN; William's science teacher was absent due to taking her own daughter to college, so she recorded a video to play for parents. As we filed in and sat down, another school employee greeted us and explained, then started the video. The classroom was full, the video playing, and I looked around in disbelief as everyone focused intently on the screen, taking notes of the teacher's contact info and requirements. Surely this was the moment for idle chatter, comic relief, or even sneaking out early - but no, we were rapt. Anything to guarantee our children's success.

But of course, we can't guarantee success, any more than we can prevent heartache and disappointment. To that end, we were gratified by the high school's emphasis on students' reaching out to their teachers whenever they need help; teachers have office hours each day and set up other special times by appointment. They expect the freshman to need help and ask for it, and that might be the greatest skill they learn this year. I didn't learn how to ask for help until my mid-thirties, so our kids will be way ahead of the curve, no matter what grades they earn.