Home Again

Late last night as we sat in the dark airplane, anticipating our arrival at 9:30pm MST / 11:30 pm EST I wondered, as I so often do on airplanes, who made the itinerary? Who thought it was a good idea to depart at 7:45 in the evening (which ended up being 8:15)? We treat departures and arrivals with breezy laughter when we make the schedule months in advance, as in, "Oh, that's a bit early, but at least we'll have daylight when we get there" about a 4:15 wake up call for a 7:00 am flight; or "wow, that's a late night for the kids but we don't have school in the morning so I'm sure it will work great." Forgetting, of course that Dad still has work and Mom still has five loads of laundry, two grocery runs and lengthy unpacking to do the next day!

But I cannot complain - we're home again safe after a great trip and the piles of Christmas gifts are making for a fun, quiet day for the kids. I'm on the fourth load of laundry and only one grocery run to go. Thinking this will be an early New Year's for all of us, but everyone is healthy and no one contemplates a run to the ER, as we did last year at the peak of my illness. I look forward to putting this day and this year behind me, behind all of us, as we move forward into the light, into new anniversaries of healing instead of sickness, and new memories of time with family and friends.

Closing Time

So the day has come when dirty laundry gets thrown into suitcases and presents are dismantled and thrown into the spare bag, which had to be packed three times to get under the 50 - pound weight limit. The family skits have been performed and the resulting You Tube video viewed thirty or forty times. Little baby Evie is sick and all the moms suspect an ear infection. Dads are on their phones or computers, taking conference calls or scheduling the rest of this holiday week. The time has come to say good-bye.

As we approach the dawn of 2014, I am reminded of this line from "Closing Time" by Semisonic: "Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."   Goodbyes will be hard but we have thrown out invitations to visit Denver and received invitations to visit Dallas and Toronto. The children have cemented bonds with their cousins and will have stories to tie to the DVD full of family photos that we carry home. Another sedimentary layer has been laid down in the collective family memory and who knows what roots will find a hold in this ground.

We're all off to more adventures; one group heads to the Rose Bowl to watch Stanford win (!) and one group to visit more family in Cincinnati. Others head home to Pennsylvania, Colorado, and Dallas, and the patriarch and matriarch will stay in their hopefully clean and blessedly quiet home. Eternal thanks to Bill and Connie for this week of bonding and best wishes to all for a healthy and family-filled 2014.

Generosity & Giving

Last night our kids had their third round of Christmas - present - opening thanks to generous uncles and aunts who recently arrived. Good books, family photos, barbeque sauce and wool socks joined the piles of packages looming in the two back bedrooms we're using. I wonder if the children know how lucky they are to be surrounded by loving family and showered with gifts. It's even hard for me to fully grasp.

When surrounded by giving people it seems there are two choices, to sit back and passively receive or to respond in kind and find ways to give back. I read an article yesterday in the Shambhala Sun about generosity and giving. The author challenged his readers to devote a day to giving: finding small ways to help whenever possible, and noting how this makes you feel. I'm going to try it today.

I have a great example in my mother-in-law, Connie. She's been shopping, cooking and cleaning for guests for the past week and yesterday cooked a meal for 24 people. Connie is like my mom, Ann, in that she easily puts the needs of others before her own. I admire them so much as this has been a struggle for me, especially in the twelve years since Aden was born.  Kids demand first place in your attentions, and though you have to adapt and take care of them it doesn't mean the job is easy or fun. It's definitely a huge shock after the roaring teens and twenties of "me" - dom.

But I'm slowly getting the hang of it, and practice makes better, if not perfect. A New Year's resolution I can start today.

Post Christmas Observations

Christmas shows battle with family home videos for space on TV screens. Dieters try to escape the ubiquitous bowls of red-green Hershey kisses and peanut MnM's  on their way to wrap presents or find an empty chair. Multiple travelers eye the bathroom and furtively plan to relieve their indigestion at a quiet moment. Hostesses plan days of menus while grocery lists proliferate on neon paper and fly about the room like snowflakes on the winter wind. Pictures from weddings, baptisms, and reunions cover the walls as if several photo albums exploded their contents and stuck to the wallpaper. Everywhere you look are reminders of family history and traditions and special occasions where people who love each other gathered in fine clothes and smiling faces. I am also reminded of how young I once was, and how the children once were tiny.

Now dirty dishes proliferate, growing mounds of wrapped packages receive hourly inspections from dirty-fingered gremlins - cousins of all ages, shapes and sizes. Piles of gift cards mix in with boxes of playing cards and holiday photos are taped above the fireplace. Christmas-themed puzzles lay on the folding table, unpieced, for the bustle of holiday prep leaves scant opportunity for piecing together of puzzles, unless it's the puzzle of who gave me this gift? The spectre of many thank you notes loom in the distance.

Behind it all plays holiday music with the special theme of joyful laughter. Someone's laugh is the same frequency as "the clapper" for the Christmas tree lights and the lit strands go on and off with each bout of merriment - setting off fresh rounds. Daniel sits on "Santa's" lap and critiques his shoes, moustache and glasses frames, until poor Santa declares "Enough!" Grown cousins pass around the home grown bootleg whiskey and cough or spit out the fruit soaked with liquor before the curious eyes of children.

After the presents are unwrapped, the excitement drains out like a river basin after the flood. In its peaceful wake Lego's are assembled, quarters are placed in collection folders, and new electronics are studied. Family skits are plotted and laughed over and no one can remember the name of the horse in the "Jingle Bells" song. The perfect Christmas may have happened only once, 2,000 years ago, but this one is pretty darn close.

A Christmas Blessing

We're in Ashland, Ohio, for the holidays, enjoying solitaire games, ping-pong tournaments, hot chocolate on cold afternoons, raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens. So far we've had a chance to catch up briefly with Rob's brother John and his wife, Katie, along with their 6-month-old daughter, Evie, our newest cousin and niece. Today brought brother Ron and his wife Kelley, and tomorrow welcomes aunts, uncles and cousins galore. I'll be offline for the next two days, as I'm sure all of my readers will be, as well. In place of updates, please accept this Christmas blessing.

At Christmas

Touch someone you love.
Feel the connection warm
On your skin, the lively
Pulse within.

Register the glow of a waning
Moon as it breaks the ancient
Night. Welcome back the
Tidal light.

Seek joy where it dwells at the
Root of everything. Dig deep
Below daily trials, cast off the
Weight of your miles.

Remember the unwed mother
Who escaped the stones.
Before Herod sent his  minions
Her child was born.

Allow his love to lift
Us together, set us down
In this special place.
Feel his embrace.


- Laura Dravenstott