Family Day - 17 Years Later

 I wrote this paragraph in 2018, on the ten year anniversary of our Family Day, when Daniel received his U.S. passport:

-February 14, 2018

I remember talking with the grandparents of another young boy who was going home that day. The grandmother explained that she and her husband had to come finish the adoption process for her daughter as the younger woman was now nine months pregnant and couldn't fly. She mused on how close her grandchildren would be in age (less than one year) and on how different they would look.

"You're so lucky," she said, her eyes sweeping across our fair-skinned Daniel, playing with his siblings. "He will be able to pass," and her eyes fell to the darker-skinned baby in her arms, "and our grandchild definitely will not."

I had to pause and blink several times as I processed her statement. "Pass?" I repeated with at a higher octave. I felt like I'd been thrown back to a previous century.

"Yes, pass. He will look white, like the rest of you. This little one," and she patted his plump, dimpled arm "will not."

I never forgot her statement, couldn't believe people were thinking that way and using the word "pass" as if it was still important to pretend to be white in the 21st century. 

Fast forward to early January, when Daniel and I were discussing our new government's policies on immigrants, he shocked me by saying virtually the same thing as the woman in the embassy, "I'm lucky - I look like you guys. I don't think ICE would even look twice at me, but I am worried about my friends who are darker."

I flashed back to the day when I ignorantly overlooked her comment as aged and irrelevant. Turns out it is true now as it has been for four hundred years: the lighter your skin the easier your life. What does it say about our country that we've gone backwards? That my son, a US citizen of 17 years, has to carry his passport and US government - issued ID with him when he walks on his college campus? 

I will leave you to your own conclusions since mine are evidently short-sighted.